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remembering jazz ;/dense/scat/;shit

the new york public library study room,   ornate ceiling

walking harlem with carlos dufflar

fascination with the chelsea hotel, learning how maya angelou would always book a hotel room to write

the doorman in LES who gave me a pack of cigarettes, the one in the UES with the coke

the jamaican from canarsie, bartending at 96th and 3rd

the garden just south of houston, green and sunny and the sketchbook i left there

the play about saartje bartmann

all the feeling/the black cat at malcolm x and lexington

wanting the apartment in harlem overlooking the river

talking about isis/virgo at the chairs in bryant park

standing over the ashes of langston hughes

the neighbor across the hall at 90th + lex. martia the virgo and her husband, the artist who gave me the sketchbook i eventually lost, told me to keep drawing

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the ritualistic / the sage burning / the sage smelling / the jasmine annointing / the stage walking / the stage standing / the stage, adorned / the stage, held and inhabited and drawn to life by me / the honey jar makin / the menstrual / the writing / the cursive / the writhing / the one with alice coltrane on vinyl / the one with a love supreme playing at constant crescendo / the one with the sound of tarot decks being shuffled / the one that smells of cornbread and collard greens / the one with oil painted flora / the one with jasmine tea steeping / the one that ain’t afraid to recall massa or the plantation or the tricks laid in order to escape both / the one that ain’t afraid of the chaos and darkness and thrash and haste / the one that looks like tired mothers laughing / the clandestine / the open / the hiatus / the reveal / the covert preparations / the overt operations / the books, stacked / the detroit red and the el hajj malik el shabazz / the solar / the autumnal / the wintry / the wintry / the wintry / the star following / the sky studying / the spell making / the herbal the tobacco sprinkling / the spliff rolling / the spliff smoking / the black women honoring / the morning praying / the nightly dreaming / the intuitive / but the mezcla / the intellectual / the mode that looks like square writing and Times New Roman typing / the butterfly squat / the erect spine / the annotating / the note taking / the neuronal focus / the somatic lurch toward the text, toward the implications, toward the embedded revelations, / the studious / the knowing / the showing / the speech giving / the imparting / the taut jaw / the writing / the writhing