did you hear me?

My densities may at times be tragic, yes, but I am not tragically endowed. The isolation does not create some internal craving for approval, for validation, for my color to be settled in court. My contents are what they are — they just happen to be in a black body. Racism is just a coin with too many sides and a million more ridges. The ridge I occupy has a great view — I see all other corners and crevices, but mine is somehow invisible to the others. I like it best this way. In this cyphered sense, I have no quarrel at all — I belong to no groove or contour that denies the validity of other. I refuse to subscribe to the belief that I am the shadows these opposite ridges cast onto me. I am not the shadow nor the light; simply the material receiving and emitting both. I have no time to argue perspective. No, I’m too busy widening my own.

Some of these ‘woke’ folk are always at my neck reminding me of some harsh reality — an institutional violence, a historical disservice, a grand mishap. It fails to register humility or a deferral of efforts within me. I’m grateful for all existences: both the tools in my tool kit and the project upon which I utilize them. The martyr and the messiah, the fascist and his regime, the liberal and the radical. After all, each has its respective ridge on the coin. If each groove in the nickel is a reality, how does the coin not collapse onto itself? Somehow everything holds everything together in respective truth — even with respective dissonance. Of this I am curious, not threatened.

Excerpted from zany like zora, zany like me

dear diary

[Outro: Spoken]
It’s not about wanting it, where yo vision?
What u see for yourself and for those around you?
I know what I want…
And I know what I don’t want
And I know everyone has desires but
I’m creating my own world
I reside in a realm of my own
But I still know how to co-exist
Amongst the many others
I look at all the succesful people in the world
Feelin’ more sure of myself than ever
Nothing is impossible to me
There was a thin line between being blessed and success
Now that shit is a blur!

sunday afternoon is

recognizing, as i write my final paper for The Anthropology of Race and Ethnicity course, that myself and my kinfolk were never supposed to read or write. i was never supposed to study, let alone create cultural artifacts that will one day be studied. i am blessed and grateful to present myself in this 3D spacetime continuum as an academic, a student, a scholar.

scholars have so much more leverage in this world than those who haven’t put in the extra 4+ years after earning a diploma or GED. i try to challenge + eventually diminish my own adherence to credentialism; as well as check my privilege when it comes to education. even with my gratitude checked and contextualized, i can still be blessed to be someone — a black someone — becoming fluent in the language of the academy; to receive skills for jobs in a world that were never made for me.